I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
and you fell through a lawn chair
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
