My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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