The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
