This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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