Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize