I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My vagina just recognized that song.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
