Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
