I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
