Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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