is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
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