Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
