Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
