guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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