It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
