just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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