with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
