A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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