Dual....:-)
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
