I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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