Your face is a jimmy john
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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