Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
