I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
