I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
