NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
