ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If I die, sorry about rent.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
