No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
