Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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