i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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