South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
