She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
