allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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