We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
