hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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