Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
