Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
someone owes me an orgasm
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
