and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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