Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
