He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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