the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
