your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
