My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Damn victory sex feels great
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