But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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