Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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