I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
