you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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