david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
