Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
