I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
