Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
