At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
