I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
