I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
