He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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