this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
