Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
