i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize