he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
