what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
