Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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