how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
