I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize