the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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