I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
