About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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