the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
