we made out on top of his cat.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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