Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
